dave's blanket

right now it doesn't look like much other than some yarn all jumbled together, but soon, soon it will take shape. I am getting upset with the pattern mostly because of the navy blue yarn. so maybe I will just modify it a bit.. next time I make this pattern though going to use lighter colors.. Today I am doing ok, other than feeling angry.. Like I just want to fight with someone. don't know why I just do. *sigh* hopefully tomorrow will bring brighter days.

----------------
Now playing: Colbie Caillat - Bubbly
via FoxyTunes

Seeing it in print

makes it all the more real for me. his obit was out on the web, it makes me sad and want to cry. I just feel too used up to cry, even if I wanted to I couldn't... here is his obit link.
when does it start to feel semi normal again? never? soon?

new project..

I am making dh a blanket in bears colors. because I love him. it's an old pattern from a book my mommy gave me. I am excited to make because I had a blanket like that when I was younger ( my bro stole it and now his neurotic dog is eating it) anyway as soon as i am done I will post pics.

----------------
Now playing: Old Crow Medicine Show - Wagon Wheel
via FoxyTunes

The day after

I am better today, than I was yesterday.. I know it will take time, it's just so unreal to say the least. Anyway, I am trying to get back into my normal routine. I have things to do today and I gotta get dressed and do my errands before my little one gets off from preschool. I have pics of his car, but I don't think I can post them again. Lets just say it's pretty bad, and knowing I have been in that car before makes it extremely real for me. *sigh* I am rambling let me stop before I throughly confuse anyone.

----------------
Now playing: The Slip - Life in Disguise
via FoxyTunes

Utter devastation

I am utterly devastated. My best friend's brother, essentially my brother died early this morning around1.30 am. He was only 24 years old and had two little girls he left behind. I didn't even get to see him this past month like we planned, life happened. I don't know what to do or how to act right now. I feel lost and alone. This month marks the 13th year since their dad passed and now he leaves behind his family. ..
Dear Matthew,
I have known you forever, or so it seems. You were always not far from my thoughts on how you were and your little girls. All I can think about now is that I somehow missed my chances to say I love you and How glad I was you were around for me. I am so sorry we couldn't get together when we planned, I will never forgive myself for missing my chance to see you one last time. I love you Mattie....rest peacefully.